I pulled out a blank notebook today and wrote on the first page, "memories that won't let you go, those are stories."
I was thinking about that "Inside Out" movie that Jelani and I saw a couple weeks ago. Cute movie. One of the parts stuck out to me (in that uncomfortable "shit, why is this goofy movie making me cry?!?!" kinda way...) is the part where memories that were once filled with joy, then become memories of sadness - because some part of what you loved about the memory has been lost, or changed.
In going through a hard break-up this year, it's the joyful memories that bring me the most sadness. Those are the memories that won't let me go. Memories from the happy times will repeatedly and randomly sneak into my consciousness. But they feel like a lead weight on my heart. Because those good times are gone.
I remember what Free Woman said to me once in a healing session: "the memories that won't let you go - those are stories."
What I decided today was to start a new notebook with the purpose of writing down the memories that won't let me go. Whether they are flashes of good times, or hard times. it's Just about taking a minute and going into the moment. Remembering the details. Adding some present-day perspective if it calls me. It's almost like dream journalling.
My hope is that taking the time to acknowledge these memories, and creating a space for them to sit, will help in eventually getting them to stop from looping endlessly like dancing anxiety kernels in my brain that I'm trying to avoid because they make me too sad. Rather, I know that when we write things down, we start a process of releasing them.
Plus, I'll have a whole new notebook full of juicy story ideas. Bonus.
I was thinking about that "Inside Out" movie that Jelani and I saw a couple weeks ago. Cute movie. One of the parts stuck out to me (in that uncomfortable "shit, why is this goofy movie making me cry?!?!" kinda way...) is the part where memories that were once filled with joy, then become memories of sadness - because some part of what you loved about the memory has been lost, or changed.
In going through a hard break-up this year, it's the joyful memories that bring me the most sadness. Those are the memories that won't let me go. Memories from the happy times will repeatedly and randomly sneak into my consciousness. But they feel like a lead weight on my heart. Because those good times are gone.
I remember what Free Woman said to me once in a healing session: "the memories that won't let you go - those are stories."
What I decided today was to start a new notebook with the purpose of writing down the memories that won't let me go. Whether they are flashes of good times, or hard times. it's Just about taking a minute and going into the moment. Remembering the details. Adding some present-day perspective if it calls me. It's almost like dream journalling.
My hope is that taking the time to acknowledge these memories, and creating a space for them to sit, will help in eventually getting them to stop from looping endlessly like dancing anxiety kernels in my brain that I'm trying to avoid because they make me too sad. Rather, I know that when we write things down, we start a process of releasing them.
Plus, I'll have a whole new notebook full of juicy story ideas. Bonus.